Pam's Blog (Life, Marriage & Parenting)

i hope my recent entries hadn't been too ambiguous for my fellow blog reader friends. laziness overcomes me whenever i wanna note down more about the day. been really dazed. days just passed by without me grasping the essence of enjoying the hours i'm awake... i'm just a little stuck in monotony. and on weekdays i am usually subconsciously awake by around 04:30hrs... frighteningly early right? lolx... ~ i actually do not have anything in particular i wanna talk about. it's just that i come to the realisation that, i'm better on my own. independence and adulthood, one word to describe it - problematic. ok, goodbye! thanks for reading this most boring and of nothingness entry. :)

been a month of sorrow... 3 funerals... ~ not totally bitter though... attended an awesome birthday party! :)) what's this season?

just by flipping through the pages of her photo album brought me back to childhood... whenever people asked me, "what regrets do you have so far?" i always replied nothing; what is meant to happen will happen. destined. however, recently when i thought of this question again, i regretted not going to my good old friend's secondary school to study normal academic. i chose to study in the express stream, at a school selected by the government due to my poor PSLE results. why do i look back and regret? simply because there wasn't much to reminisce about my high school. the people whom i was close to back then, i am still pretty much in contact with them, and they have a special place in my heart. as for the school itself, i really cannot state anything that makes me miss the building at all. maybe because there wasn't much unity in the classes which i belonged to. or perhaps, the fun times were always after school. (i'm the kind of person who doesn't like to

currently still reading Prozac Nation - Elizabeth Wurtzel but i'm gonna finish it soon by next week. the problem with me is that the more i read, the more i identify with the author. feeling more and more of the depressed emotions she experienced. the endless cycle of trying to fill the hole in her empty soul and the excruciating pain of loneliness. sometimes you need to be hit the hard way to know you can't dwell in your own misery for too long. ~ had a sort of "gathering" again and saw an acquaintance for the last time last night. was quite sad that she left this world at such a tender age. i wish i knew her better... but i'll remember her in a special way as she was a very unique girl. the consolation is that she has returned to see the Lord. :) ~ just been a little dazed. a little more than a little tired. however, and most importantly, the realisation that singlehood can be enjoyable. you can meet different people and have fun without being incessantly quest

treasure your love ones while they're still alive. that's sums up what i wanna say.

I've decided to get out of that black hole. I'm sick and tired of all that crap. All the ambiguities. What a mistake, to be delayed so long. I have absolutely no idea up to this very moment what's on that person's mind. I think I have already done quite a bit, I shall resort to the fact that is either I shall be daring or I shall just STOP all actions on my side. ~ From this present moment, I will stop the aplenty hallucinations, illusions, daydreamings, nightmares, or whatever you call those inni-mini tiny thoughts of you. I have enough and in my opinion, I've already done what I should do. Aren't my moves simply and downright clear-cut. I think doing any more will be just taking too much of my pride. I think now, just forget it, don't turn back and get on straight ahead. ~ I can't help feeling immature.

In case you do not know... KINDLY DROP BY:- WWW.RAREOWL.BLOGSPOT.COM for my amateurish artwork & photography shots. Thanks. Love, Pam

Lucian Freud's - Benefits supervisor sleeping. The most expensive painting sold during an artist lifetime - US $33.6m. Oh yeah, I do like Lucian Freud's paintings. I love art pieces by old masters. Thank God Fine Art still exists.

been tuning in to symphony 92.4 this morning while strolling to work; a little something different everyday. i enjoyed the music! there was a piece of orchestra with the accompaniment of a lively, upbeating, tenor opera vocal... ^_^ occasionally, i enjoy opera! ~ yesterday was mother's day... had dinner with my folks. ordered what really was in my favour... i ate it fast. what i meant by fast is really 1.5 times faster than my usual consumption pace. geex... because the food arrived at our table approximately 1 & a half hour after we settled down. so we were damn hungry but fortunately, the wait was worthwhile. it was really delicious. yummm... i think i've got a thing for curry fish head in claypot! man, i't was simply irresistable and i'm having a growing liking for it since bavis + bf & i ate it at the thai restaurant that day. so my parents and i shared 4 bottles of alcohol, namely 2 stout & 2 heineken. dad & i drank more. frankly speaking, each time

yesterday evening i finally had my long awaited dinner with my everdearest Gillian!! i guess i'm a very "friend" person... the group of people whom i held on tight to our friendships are people whom i have determined their importance in my life. without these people. i'm just a soul without living proof memories. i'm truly glad that this group of old pals have good memories... so whatever i can recall, they do as well. the feelings are mutual... :)) talking to my dear gal reminded me a lot about our childhood days. the funny and silly things we did. our primary school mates and so on and so forth. being with gil just made me happy! she's one of those people you'll feel really good just by seeing them. her smile, the way she laughs and listens to you, also the sound of her sweeet voice... *grinz* if i were a guy, i definitely will fall for her! hehee... ~ back to today so far, slept till around 3pm. i know i'm a sleepyhead... ~ musi

currently into old school things. perhaps, it's my nostalgic nature. thinking for quite a while for (another rose tattoo) rock 'n' roll... sigh! needs some serious consideration! been ok, fine, alright... i guess a very limited expression to my emotions... coz i simply don't feel strongly in a certain kinda way... just into the laidback sorta feel... my obsessions/infatuations are of guitars & music. felt like i crossed a narrow river. feel nothing. just waiting for things to happen if they do actually happen in the end. ~ was browsing thru' bumper stickers on facebook. i like pictures which are expressive. came thru' one that said, "don't give up on the one you can't live without a day thinking." if you ask me, it made sense. on the flip side, "don't wait forever or what's not worth waiting for, waitress." lol. alrighty, pretty much sums up my randomness. tata! :))

Started the day with a good note. Something seems right about today! Haha.. This week is my meet "good-old-friends" week... So pleased! I've met Bavis, Xue Ying and on Friday, I'm gonna see Gillian!! Geex.. I LOVE my good friends lots! ~ After having a heart-2-heart chat with Xue... I felt better about the present scenario I'm in. I'm gonna be happier! Okie, thanks for reading! Ciao!~

Tuned in to 98.7 FM as usual... Had my morning routine... Felt rather melancholy upon hearing the news of Deborah De Souza's death due to stomach cancer (i hope i didn't misheard the disease) Dan & Young then proceeded with their "Sound Track to Our Lives" session. Dedicated to her or audiences' love ones who have passed on. All the sad songs started playing simultaneously. November Rain was aired because someone asked for it to console the family members of the radio presenter. Damn! Immediately brought my mood down. Was having my breakfast which tasted tasteless. When one's soul is upset, even the most delicious food cannot brighten up the soul. Browsed thru' the lyrics. Clouds gathered. "Hearts can change." I don't know if my heart's gonna change. Alright now, tata!

I'm easily fascinated by things that are unique... What I meant by that is something uncommon to me... It could be a complex machine with multiple buttons, an exotic animal with a dozen wings, a microscopic intelligent little bacteria which sticks on to human so that no bad guys can escape, mmm... and how about a handsome dude with the manner of a gentleman and yet so humble and totally charming, not in any way disrespectful, indescribly intellectual... oh blah blah blah... Just thrilled by this thing here... It's a Harmonium... The Harmonium is a mechanical computer designed to perform sine wave synthesis and Fourier Analysis. All I can say is I like objects which look scientific... Like it is able to stun you with its amazing function. Read more on: http://www.retrothing.com/ I would like to have people sculpt for me a sundial too... :)) I have an obsession for watches, spectacles and some other stuff... If you know me already... My latest obsession: - Guitars &

i know i can't trust everybody... coz i trust people easily... not that they gain my trust... i just do... so presently, i urge myself not to... just to protect myself... i'm fine... i'm doing good in fact... i know how vague a word is good... define good: i'm sound and not in a bad state... :)) life is pretty much the same... motivation: photography... i think i just lost one and gain another... ambiguity? i know... makes your life more interesting to wonder about my life maybe? take care all! *smile*

Watched Harold & Kumar 2 and I totally enjoyed it... I must admit I like silly movies. I should go rent the debut of this movie... I actually thought the ending was sweet. Especially the part where Kumar appeared at the wedding ceremony and said he loves Vanessa for who she is and would not try to change anything about her. Aww... I think that was really sweet. Hee... And his poem was absolutely hilarious... Kumar Patel : [reciting the poem 'The Square Root of 3'] I'm sure that I will always be / A lonely number like root three / The three is all that's good and right, / Why must my three keep out of sight / Beneath the vicious square root sign, / I wish instead I were a nine / For nine could thwart this evil trick, / with just some quick arithmetic / I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321 / Such is my reality, a sad irrationality / When hark! What is this I see, / Another square root of a three / As quietly co-waltzing by, / Together now we multiply / To form