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Mendell, Our Son

28TH NOVEMBER 2020

"Intentionally align yourself daily with the Word of God in order to understand His path for your life, and always remember that big legacies often start with small acts. There's purpose in every diaper you change, every tear you wipe, and every covering you pray over your children. Mama, you are a warrior, a leader, a mentor, a powerhouse, an intercessor, and a chosen woman of God. As powerful as motherhood is, it's impossible to be "just" a Mommy; you will always and forever be MORE than a Mommy!" - extracted from More than a Mommy by Nikkia Hines

23RD NOVEMBER 2020 - 2 MONTHS

I am typing this post while Mendell is sleeping on my chest. I am reclined at about 150° on my bed. Mendell just had his last feed at about 5pm and he has been with me for about 50mins and counting.

For those who have been following my Instagram account, @pammiedoodle, I have shared how everyday I woke up to feeling thankful to God for His blessing of this little bundle of joy! Everyday I am amazed that God has chosen us to be Mendell's steward and parents. Everyday is a brand new opportunity to say I love you! Everyday really counts! 😄

As you may have read from my main blog entry, I have a polytechnic classmate who had recently passed away. So our lives on this planet is short. What kind of legacy I want to leave behind is something I have been thinking about these days. What kind of impact will my life make? What are the values that I would like to impart to Mendell (and our children - if we have more children in the future)? As the bible says in Proverbs 22:6, "Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it." I am still a work in progress and learning to be a better person for God and for my family. Having Mendell makes me want to be a better human so that I can model for him.

Sharing a cute video of Mendell saying he is HUNGRY after our massage time this morning. Mendell, you are so precious! I have said that I love you forever and I will! 😍💖😘


Love,
Pam (23.11.20) 

26TH OCTOBER 2020 - 1 MONTH, 3 DAYS

My motherhood journey hasn't been long but I have experienced the whole gamut of human emotions.  As my time to blog is limited, I shall share some precious moments here so that I can also share it with Mendell in the future. 

I shall begin this post by sharing about the struggles that Nat and I anticipated at the end of confinement:
(1) Having Mendell sleep in the same room as us (getting up in the middle of the night to do breastfeeding)
(2) Bathing
(3) Burping (for me only)


Sleeping in the same room
When Ling Jie was around, I experimented with both latching and having her bottle feed Mendell my expressed breast milk for middle of the night feeds.  Breastfeeding in the motn can be exhausting so I thought during the confinement period, I would have Ling Jie do more of the bottle feeding.  So it really takes a while for me to adjust to the routine of waking up at least twice every night (since I sleep around 12 midnight - Mendell's last feed).  Do not be worried if you are a deep sleeper and wonder if you can wake up in the motn - You Can!

~

To be continued...

FULL MONTH THOUGHTS

23rd October 2020: It's Mendell's Full Month and a bittersweet occasion. The past 30 days had been full of bliss - 真的感到幸福美满!💖 Yet at the same time, many emotional moments. 


24th October 2020:
Focusing on the emotional times for this post to remember such moments:
(1) Ling Jie (confinement nanny) completed her 28 days of service. Never thought I would experience such intense feelings about the end of confinement. Ling Jie and I connected really well the moment she stepped in. It's a rare affinity. She is like family to me and her absence is felt, especially today, the day after.



(2) Received a sympathy card from Island Veterinary Bedok yesterday. Wasn't prepared to read the content as I knew I would start tearing. Finally had the courage to do so this morning. Thanks to all the staff who had seen CJ and served us. Your messages were sincere. It really touched my heart. Somehow, CJ and Mendell's lives seem to cross path in ways that I find significant.


Since my pregnancy, I would look at Mendell and find it to be such a comfort when I go through tough times. That's essentially what his name means - comforter. His Chinese name 恺恩 means - 恺 joyful & kind and 恩 grace & favour. May my little koala bear 🐨 grow up well under God's protection & grace and may he be a comfort and blessing to all he meets. 🙏

Photo Credit: Yen Photography

LIFE WITH MENDELL


23rd September 2020: Mendell Koh Kai En(许恺恩) born on the 40th week & 3 days of gestation via Cesarean section procedure. My fluid level was decreasing and also due to other factors, my gynae no longer recommended vaginal birth.
Initially, I felt a slight disappointment after having prepared for vaginal birth for several months but after speaking with Nat, I am at peace with myself being a belly birth mommy.
🙏
Momentous moment came when I first heard Mendell's cry, immediately maternal instincts kicked in and I just wanted to do skin to skin.
👶🏻
Right now Mendell, Nat and I are doing well. We love our bundle of joy to bits! Share more on our parenting journey again soon!
👨‍👩‍👦

WEEK 40 & 1 DAY

Hi,
 
I am 40 weeks and 1 day into my pregnancy.  Naturally I feel a little anxious because I really thought that Baby M will arrive earlier given that Nat was a pre-mature baby and I was born via a Cesarean section procedure.   

This morning I woke up feeling a little frustrated as I could not sleep well due to the fact that my doggo, CJ, had to go for CT scan and ultrasound today and his non-stop pacing in the middle of the night for at least an hour.  We are trying to find out what is happening to him as he had 2 episodes of convulsion, poor appetite, epistaxis (some blood splashing out from his nose when he sneezes) and endless pacing (up to 4 hours).  So for this reason, my mood was a little off for at least half of today.

Sharing a bit more of the context for my anxiety earlier on.  My gynae had shared that Baby M is on the heavier side based on the past 2 estimations and that from his experience, for firstborn, there may be some risks involved if baby is too big.  Did some research and this is what I found here.  Gynae also recommended for baby to be out at 40 weeks and 5 days based on current circumstances if I do not experience spontaneous birth.  After some contemplation, I decided to contact the doula, whom I had attended Bradley Method Childbirth classes from, and I would be trying out some of the methods to accelerate Baby M's birth and fingers crossed that they will work.  

I will share more at a later time.  Meanwhile, I appreciate all the concern, advice, sharing of experiences and prayers.  

Love,
Pam (21.09.20)

WHAT IS A NARWHAL?

Name an animal beginning with the letter "N".

I could not think of any so I had to check with my wise friend, Google.  Google gave me a list and I decided to draw a Narwhal.  After drawing the Narwhal, I have to find out more about the animal to share with Baby M.

(1) Did you know that the "unicorn horn" is a tusk and the tusk is actually a tooth.  
(2) Males have tusk, there are few that have double tusks.  Occasionally, females have tusk too.
(3) The tooth is not for hunting aka spearing.
(4) Narwhals are shy and skittish. 
(5) The tusks can sense the changes in the salinity of the water.
(6) Function of tusk may be for courtship and mating purpose.

If you're keen to know more, you may go here.


Love,

Pam (08.09.2020)

WHAT KIND OF PARENT I WOULD LIKE TO BE (PART 1):

So I have been thinking a lot about parenting...  (Have quite a lot of time on my hands as I am already on maternity leave.)  Drawing reference from a few friends who are homeschooling their children, I  genuinely admire them for their hard work.  Though I really like the idea, I do not think that my life circumstances allow me to do so at the moment.  However, what I learned from these mummies are:

(1) They are present for their children.

(2) They are constant learners.  (Some of them were not in the teaching profession.  Hence, they have to do their own research and create curriculum for their children.)

(3) They have to think out of the box to create the kind of environment that may be missing in the homeschooling environment.

I remember learning from my "First Language Acquisition" studies that the first 5 years of a child's development is vital.  You may read more here.  

Just a little bit about myself, I was raised by my nanny's family and then I was in student care centre from throughout my primary school days.  As a grown-up today, I can share firsthand that this is not something I want my child(ren) to go through.  Honestly, I have quite limited memories of my parents and I spending time together.  This will be a long term effect.  

In the case of my parents, they have reasons for doing so.  Being in a low income family and the lack of a reliable child-rearing community, one of the ways to ensure that I am cared for in a safe environment is to place me in another "school-like" environment.  I am not sure how student care centres are nowadays but during my childhood, it was the following regime for after-school care:

(1)  Eat Lunch

(2) Shower

(3) Do Homework

(4) Nap

(5) Do Assessment Book Worksheets

Still, I acknowledge that I have somewhat benefited from the system.  I was able to seek help with schoolwork.  I was disciplined.  

But, I do not have an enjoyable childhood.

I am not against infant / student care centres.  The point that I wanted to highlight is that I think as parents we need to have careful considerations about how we want to make time for our children.  Even if the infant / student care option is the best for your situation, you still need to find time to connect with your children after you have fetched them and also during weekend.  Taking time to understand how they feel and what they are going through is important.  Though I can imagine that it may be exhausting after working the whole day.  Time passes by fast and memory-making with loved ones is essential.  Once it is lost, to a certain extent, it is irreversible.  Hence, I urge parents-to-be to have serious consideration about how they would like to set apart time for their children (and also their spouses). 

These are some thoughts for now.  I will write more as more come to mind and as I learn.

Love,

Pam (04.09.2020)

BRADLEY CLASS REVIEW

Heard a lot about the Bradley Method from my best friend when she was pregnant with her firstborn. When I discovered I was pregnant, she highly recommended me to attend the classes. (And I did, out of fear of the unknown)

The content of the classes were relevant as it helps me in the following areas:
(1) Awareness about good health and nutrition
(2) Importance of having a pregnancy safe exercise regime
(3) How my husband can be an active participant (coach) throughout my pregnancy and birth of our child
(4) Possible positions for birth
(5) Stages of labour
(6) What's next after birth

I also learned that birthing can be a wonderful experience! Now armed with knowledge from the classes, I am less fearful and more assured.

I would like to express my gratitude and appreciation to Angelyn for imparting the knowledge to soon-to-be moms and dads, like myself and Nat.

Please register for the classes if you want to be physically, mentally and emotionally prepared for your first birthing experience.

P.S. I wished that there were more opportunities to interact with fellow moms and dads-to-be but I also understand that there are a lot to cover during each class.


Love,
Pam (30.08.2020)

~

Wonder what is up on my nursery wall?

I am trying to create a space where Baby M would feel the warmth of a loving home.  Been pondering on how to do it and consulted my art teacher.  She suggested that I put up paintings of line sketches which is one of my favourite style.  So I thought quite a while about it and came up with something!

This painting below features CJ, my doggo, while he sleeps.  The sight of CJ sleeping always invokes a sense of peace for me.  I hope it does the same to Baby M.  Drawings and paintings have to mean something, especially when it is displayed in the house and in a particular room.


After reading a Facebook post from a friend about biodiversity and conservation, I realised that there are many more animals which are native / migratory / visitors to certain green spaces in Singapore.  Hence, I decided to doodle a simple series of cards to show Baby M his name by letter.  Each card features a native / migratory / visiting animal that I found more information from: https://www.nparks.gov.sg/biodiversity/wildlife-in-singapore/species-list 

As some of you may know, I am learning sign language.  Hence, I thought that it may be a good idea to include a doodle of how the letter can be fingerspelled.

Here it is:








Love,
Pam (24.08.2020)

~

At week 36 today! From getting concerned about my weight gain to acceptance of my changing body. 🤰
Feeling slightly emotional that Baby M will be out of my womb soon as I am so used to his kicks and swirls in my tummy! Also a part of me wants to do more to prepare for parenthood with Nat. I guess one can never be totally prepared and it will be a journey of faith and trust.
Having a child is indeed a blessing. It makes me want to be a better person so that I can be a better role model.
Looking forward to the days ahead in anticipation 😊

Love,
Pam (23.08.2020)


~

Hi,

Thank you for visiting this page!

Nat & I have been hoping that we can become parents after settling in our beautiful home (and also after travelling to my dream vacation venue).

In late January, we discovered the great news that God gave us a child.  In early February, we decided on our gynea.  

FIRST TRIMESTER

First trimester was quite challenging as I experienced nausea very frequently.  My senses were heightened and I detested the smell of cooking rice.  At first, I requested my mother-in-law to cook Chinese food but I soon realised that I did not have the appetite for it and had to have Nat or my helper to get food that I craved.  Favourite food during this period included pastas and pizzas! 

Have a look at the video below when we make the announcement to our friends and acquaintances on Facebook & Instagram. 😍


SECOND TRIMESTER

Second trimester was awesome!  I would say the best out of the three trimesters.  I am in good spirits most of the time.  Hardly picky about food and generally accepting of the changes taking place (i.e. my ever-growing belly).  


Highlight #1: I had to go to A&E to remove my wedding band as my ring finger had gotten extremely swollen.  Methods like using soap, oil, dental floss to remove it proved to be futile.  On the bright side, I am so looking forward to a new wedding band that I have my eyes on! 😂

Highlight #2: I had a severe flare of eczema.  It is a pre-existing condition for me but I didn't have it till this period.  Trigger identified by dermatologist was hot shower and unsuitable shower gel.  (Read on as it returned in my third trimester.)

Highlight #3: My hands were aching.  Not sure why.  Anyways, I was trying to do some simple hands range of motion exercises when I came across sign language.  I have developed an interest ever since!  I have also set up an Instagram @pammiesigns  Feel free to drop by!  Below is one of the videos that I have created where I shared how to fingerspell my son, Mendell's name.


Highlight #4: Nat ran as a candidate in Marine Parade GRC.  It was a good memory!  I am so proud of him! 


THIRD TRIMESTER

Today, 21st August 2020, I am at Week 35 & Day 5 of my pregnancy.  Some of the things I experienced in my first trimester returned.

#1: Feeling of nauseousness.  The return of morning sickness?

#2: Vomiting as a result of eating food I do not like.  Pre-pregnancy, I would avoid avocado.  However, I tried to take some avocados as my Bradley Method instructor recommended eating it.  But all hell broke loose, I vomited up to 8 times non-stop.  It was the most terrible feeling!  

#3: I experienced 2 weeks of vertigo.  No joke when you're pregnant and your vision was spinning.  Picture below shows me with a neck brace after the neurologist treated me using the Epley Maneuver.  Neurologist told me that I would not experience vertigo again after the treatment.  So far it has been true! 


#4: Old friend, "Eczema Betty" is back with vengeance.  I'm having a worse episode than in first trimester.  This time I understood from the dermatologist that it is actually the stretch cream I use.  Fyi, stretch cream is a popular brand sold in places like mothercare, pupsik etc.  I was so mad but I am recovering already.  Looks like I have to stick with dermatologist recommended brands for a long time.  Actually I don't mind.  Just that it is more expensive.

#5: Literally carrying a basketball around.  I am not kidding.  I am so heavy now!  But my heart is full! 💖  I know that God will take care of us no matter what happens and I just have to trust Him.  


This was how I look full view from the side last week.  I love this picture taken by Nat and the perspective it gives.

So I am now about a month away from Mendell's birth!  

What have I been up to since I am already on maternity leave?

#1: Decorating the nursery
#2: Learning about how to take care of a newborn
#3: Doing exercises to aid natural birth
#4: Getting ready for confinement period

Yeah, that's about it for now!  Can't wait to share more with you!  Till then, you take care and stay safe!  God bless!  

Love,
Pam (21.08.2020)

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