Skip to main content

Acquaintances with Benefits


When I was young (in upper primary), my birthday wishes were similar.  It was to have many friends.  That could be due to the fact that I am an only child and may feel lonely at times.  Thanks to my best friends (you know who you are), I seldom feel lonely. 

I can easily identify who my best friends are.  They are people I would ask for opinions on important decisions I have to make, meet relatively regularly (at least bimonthly, quarterly) for chit-chat and my life would have been very different without them.

According to Robin Dunbar, in order to maintain stable social relationships where an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person. 

Friends are essentially different from acquaintances. 

Acquaintances are typically:

#1. People whom you may have only met a few times at an event/function;

#2. Classmates/schoolmates/coursemates you have encountered casually;

#3. Your partner/spouse's friends; and

#4. Distant colleagues.

Nevertheless, there are occasions when acquaintances became friends, and then evolved to good friends, and ultimately to best friends. 

On the other hand, sometimes acquaintances may suddenly want to catch up with you.  You may be thinking, "Why not? Maybe we can get to know each other better and hang out.  Surely he/she knows something I don't."  However, based on my experiences, these acquaintances met up with me in order to fulfill certain intentions. 

Allow me to briefly name a few:

a. Promote insurance policies (my financial advisor is my friend from the start);

b. Recruit you as a multi-level-marketer; and

c. Attend an event/function which they would not have normally ask you to.

The sad truth is that, they will usually not ask you to meet up again if you are "useless" to them.  Additionally, most of the time, they are not very much affected if they tried to persude you and you declined their offer because they are not going to see you frequently or ever again.

Perhaps I am fairly petty but I just do not think it is right to ask a person out and later disclose to them what the meet up is all about - selling, recruiting and using the person.  I may have put it too bluntly but what you think is good for you may not be what the other person needs or wants. 

Sometimes I feel that all around me has evolved into a society with benefits.  Hope things will change. :)

Pam

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Honouring Mr Lee Kuan Yew

23 Mar 2015: While getting ready for work, Nat told me that Mr Lee Kuan Yew has passed on. I didn't expect the multitude of sadness that followed. Found out that Prime Minister Mr Lee Hsien Loong would be addressing Singaporeans on his father's death at 8am and my heart went out to him. As I was watching his address, I am reminded that no matter who he is, he is still his father's son. When I see the profile and cover pictures of many of my friends changed into mono colours, I see unity and appreciation. By human standards perhaps we may debate about whether he is a good leader, but I believe he was called to serve with the others when Singapore really needed one. RIP Mr Lee Kuan Yew.
Post a Comment
Read more
Stubbles + Dreadlocks = My Kinda Guy as at 21st Dec '09 I guess this statement is pretty true. It took me about 3-4 years to decide to tell him that I still love him... Telling him was just to let him know my feelings towards him... Months later we got together, it felt strange because I thought fate has departed from us. Destiny must have heard my cry and let me have a second go at this love. Unfortunately, now we're once again apart from each other. Sometimes I felt that I held on to the memories with him so tight because he was my first love. Many times I have thought myself to be a fool and felt that things have been a little unfair. He was my dream guy and I don't think I was ever his dream girl. After all, I was not his first love. Moreover, I don't have much to offer. Day after day, I watch memories play over my brain's eye, uncertain to feel remorseful or to tell myself to move on... Yeap, I know it has been a while now. God just help me. Pam Petite
Post a Comment
Read more

A Fall

Dear Blog, I just had a fall while running in my flat-heeled office shoes. I didn't feel embarrassed dropping flat on the floor. Instead, I felt a growing pain from both my knees. My brain signaled for my legs to walk and soon I reached my destination with blood-crying knees. Why was I so careless? Was browsing through my past entries, time has passed and well, a lot more to improve on in my life. Occasionally, I wish to say, be contented. However, I can't. Because it simply is not good enough. I guess, that's what a twenty something should be contemplating. After all, only about a quarter of our lives is gone. Had been playing RISK board game with my honey on 2 consecutive Sundays. This game taught me a couple of lessons:- (a) Nobody is declared the winner unless the game ceases, by either party surrendering or by conquering the lands of your opponent; (b) Even if you are losing huge armies, it doesn't mean you are the loser; (small can fight big) (c) Take it easy! I...
Post a Comment
Read more