When I was young (in upper primary), my birthday wishes were similar. It was to have many friends. That could be due to the fact that I am an only child and may feel lonely at times. Thanks to my best friends (you know who you are), I seldom feel lonely.
I can easily identify who my best friends are. They are people I would ask for opinions on important decisions I have to make, meet relatively regularly (at least bimonthly, quarterly) for chit-chat and my life would have been very different without them.
According to Robin Dunbar, in order to maintain stable social relationships where an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.
Friends are essentially different from acquaintances.
Acquaintances are typically:
#1. People whom you may have only met a few times at an event/function;
#2. Classmates/schoolmates/coursemates you have encountered casually;
#3. Your partner/spouse's friends; and
#4. Distant colleagues.
Nevertheless, there are occasions when acquaintances became friends, and then evolved to good friends, and ultimately to best friends.
On the other hand, sometimes acquaintances may suddenly want to catch up with you. You may be thinking, "Why not? Maybe we can get to know each other better and hang out. Surely he/she knows something I don't." However, based on my experiences, these acquaintances met up with me in order to fulfill certain intentions.
Allow me to briefly name a few:
a. Promote insurance policies (my financial advisor is my friend from the start);
b. Recruit you as a multi-level-marketer; and
c. Attend an event/function which they would not have normally ask you to.
The sad truth is that, they will usually not ask you to meet up again if you are "useless" to them. Additionally, most of the time, they are not very much affected if they tried to persude you and you declined their offer because they are not going to see you frequently or ever again.
Perhaps I am fairly petty but I just do not think it is right to ask a person out and later disclose to them what the meet up is all about - selling, recruiting and using the person. I may have put it too bluntly but what you think is good for you may not be what the other person needs or wants.
Sometimes I feel that all around me has evolved into a society with benefits. Hope things will change. :)
Pam
Comments