Dear Blog, i realized how heavy-weight the word love is... love is just too BIG a word to describe any emotion i feel currently... love must be a wonderful feeling that makes one turn completely ecstatic, engaged in a world which cannot be found anywhere on earth; float like angel with wings, smile at the slightest thought of the source, motivation to live to spend many more years with that cause of meaning... it's been a long long time since i felt ever i'm in love... love shouldn't be just an illusion... illusions do not last... it's neither a game nor a cuff... it should not be associated with karma... it's not being judged by horoscope or zodiac compatibility... it's not equivalent to sex... however, love is a necessity for sex... these days i've been thinking through a lot... i remember myself smiling radiantly when i saw his face... i wanted to be the best lover ever really... oh wells, that side of me is dead... somehow i don't really want to revi