Pam's Blog (Life, Marriage & Parenting)

Date: 2009.05.05 Time: 09:11 hrs Setting: On the MRT towards Bedok Station Everyday renews your opportunity to make your day a good / bad one. This morning I packed my gym bag ready for a workout session later in the day. Preparation for the things I need for the day caused me to eliminate a reading material. Listening to music banging rhythmically from my headphones vibrating to my 2 eardrums and observing random people, I start to feel jaded. It wasn't the same as yesterday or the day before or any other day. If you were to turn a page of the "Life of Pampi" backwards, you would realise I was with the one I love; still awaiting for the Townlink bus to get to the interchange at this exact minute - boredom didn't visit me. For now, the single me is sitting at the centre of the blue section seats, thinking of using this spare time to jot down some random rubbish just to post on facebook. Oh seriously, c'mon... Who really wants boredom as a good friend?

I witnessed a woman bleeding profusely as she stumbled from a distance towards me. Her agony seemed to be momentary as I observed a progressively unique facial expression which was too profound to be deciphered. I recognised this unusual feeling which felt like a bosom friend who visits me occasionally. The more I tried to focus on her, the stronger her emotions were coming to me. And I was literally experiencing her. Flashes of images of her walking and crying in the cruel rain, images played out in fast motion explaining how she got to her current state. Eventually, she made a decision to amputate the source of her fatal bleeding. The next moment it was as though all the dark clouds looming above her had cleared. You instantly saw a brand new her. Carefree yet annoyingly indifferent. Like the happiness of an innocent child who has never experienced any pain. You watched everything being played out and begin to wonder - what mattered didn't matter anymore. Written by Pamela Pang