Pam's Blog (Life, Marriage & Parenting)

Dear Blog, ::My 1st sketch:: *pam*

Dear Blog, i realized how heavy-weight the word love is... love is just too BIG a word to describe any emotion i feel currently... love must be a wonderful feeling that makes one turn completely ecstatic, engaged in a world which cannot be found anywhere on earth; float like angel with wings, smile at the slightest thought of the source, motivation to live to spend many more years with that cause of meaning... it's been a long long time since i felt ever i'm in love... love shouldn't be just an illusion... illusions do not last... it's neither a game nor a cuff... it should not be associated with karma... it's not being judged by horoscope or zodiac compatibility... it's not equivalent to sex... however, love is a necessity for sex... these days i've been thinking through a lot... i remember myself smiling radiantly when i saw his face... i wanted to be the best lover ever really... oh wells, that side of me is dead... somehow i don't really want to revi...

Dear Blog, it has been quite some time since i last updated... i've been immensely dejected, as well as glad too... i always wish that good things would happen in the month of my birth and in December where vast amount of humans celebrate the season of LOVE; Christmas. i would say that the way things are looking for this month was alright... i thought i found the reason to be happy and then the anti-climax of the happiness factor reveal a side i did not entirely fancy... i blame myself for hoping for too much and thought i could read like-minded people but BAM... i'm wrong... oh now whatever... don't be ecstatic so easily... don't be fooled... why am i still a fool after all this time?? in the end, i'm not exactly downcast nor delighted... i just think... this time... stop being a fool and move on for real... the company i am working for has shifted to a new location... i have a few new colleagues... i like them... and now the office seems like a home with lotsa peo...

Dear Blog, My day began with a nightmare. Yu Han left my estate @ around 0115HRS. I slept. I was feeling quite troubled. The dream was realistically upsetting. In the dream I had a major quarrel with Han. I left her apartment angsty. I had yelled @ the top of my lungs before departing. It was crazy. It was a feeling of disjustification. I went off... I'm like Little Match Girl trying to make a living by being some sort of a surveyor or whatever you call it. The experience was bizarre. I don't know why was I doing that. I was an indirect employee of a radio station... For the survey. And the later part was full of crap. I guess dissatisfaction with life. I woke up. It was past 1300HRS. I'm a heavy-sleeper. Decide not to face this seemingly terrible day by closing my eyes. Message ringtone interrupted my little nap. Reached for it. It was my tuition boy. Quite pissed by him not attempting to do my homework. I really need to show him my true colours. I don't want to give u...

Dear Blog, ahaha.. was searching for Nickelback's Photograph MTV... & guess what i found instead?.. watch it below... it's hilarious... 2 thumbs up... ;p and compare it with... the real MTV... =) *pam*

Dear Blog, in bliss but doubtful... i'm :) believe me... but my intuition tells me something's not right... sigh.. i still can't let go. *pam*

Dear Blog, very frequently i wonder why i am the way i am... i know some of my weaknesses like an old friend... negative characteristics include: 1) prideful 2) selfish 3) pessimistic 4) envy others for what i don't have 5) irritating it all sums up to just a huge part of me = imperfect i often wonder why am i always reacting the same old ways... read a lil about Pablo Picasso... he had a messed up life... at least in my opinion... part of me can relate and the other part remaining just wonder why... most of the time, matters look complex sit back and recount that situation... it was simply a small little dot... i just darken it and increased the radius by many times... don't make it complex. *pam*