Skip to main content
Dear Blog,

My day began with a nightmare. Yu Han left my estate @ around 0115HRS. I slept. I was feeling quite troubled. The dream was realistically upsetting. In the dream I had a major quarrel with Han. I left her apartment angsty. I had yelled @ the top of my lungs before departing. It was crazy. It was a feeling of disjustification. I went off... I'm like Little Match Girl trying to make a living by being some sort of a surveyor or whatever you call it. The experience was bizarre. I don't know why was I doing that. I was an indirect employee of a radio station... For the survey. And the later part was full of crap. I guess dissatisfaction with life. I woke up. It was past 1300HRS. I'm a heavy-sleeper. Decide not to face this seemingly terrible day by closing my eyes. Message ringtone interrupted my little nap. Reached for it. It was my tuition boy. Quite pissed by him not attempting to do my homework. I really need to show him my true colours. I don't want to give up on him. Sigh~ Procrastinator. Having interrupted, I wrote down the content of my dream in my diary.

I know how sad my dream sounded. Perhaps in reality I am. I DON'T WANT TO BE... And I can run away from it I know. There's no need for words of encouragement. I just need to be making good decisions and be happy I made them. My future is truly a blur. I can't face up to it. Barriers and all. I know I can get over it. All I need is to vent my frustration and get over with this point of my fucking life. Oh whatever. As he commented, "Take it easy." No need for worries. Life is like a game now. I gotta get hold of my bearings and face the shit that happens.

*pam*
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Acquaintances with Benefits

When I was young (in upper primary), my birthday wishes were similar.  It was to have many friends.  That could be due to the fact that I am an only child and may feel lonely at times.  Thanks to my best friends (you know who you are), I seldom feel lonely.  I can easily identify who my best friends are.  They are people I would ask for opinions on important decisions I have to make, meet relatively regularly (at least bimonthly, quarterly) for chit-chat and my life would have been very different without them. According to Robin Dunbar , in order to maintain stable social relationships where an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.  Friends are essentially different from acquaintances.  Acquaintances are typically: #1. People whom you may have only met a few times at an event/function; #2. Classmates/schoolmates/coursemates you have encountered casually; #...
Post a Comment
Read more

Grandfather Lee: YOUR vision, not mine!

Mr Lee (Kuan Yew) is a well-respected figure in my family.  I shall take a picture of the biographies my parents have religiously bought some other day (maybe I should contribute by purchasing Hard Truths just to complete the collection).  Anyone who studied Singapore history would respect him in some way or another.  However, lately grandfather Lee seemed to be revealing his true self and not bothering much about how the current generation thinks about our society. Here is an article from New Nation, an online magazine I read. Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision. Pam Petite
Post a Comment
Read more
I believe that a person's life experiences will largely influence how they behave & react in any given situation. I believe that I have become more optimistic nowadays. Thanks to: 1) God, 2) boyfriend & close / good friends, 3) inspirational & motivational books, These 3 things really played a huge role lately; especially this year. Personally, I am into the idea that one should eliminate anything that brings you down. I know that "eliminate" seems like a BIG word, what I'm trying to put across is, don't let anything come between you and your dreams. To being wealthy is genuinely 1 of my desire. It is the thought of being affluent & rich someday soon that keeps me going forward. In my opinion, becoming rich doesn't have to cost you anything. Meaning, you don't have to sacrifice your very precious time with your family members; neglecting what's emotionally of higher importance. I'm a believer that there's a way to strike a balan...
Post a Comment
Read more