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Dear Blog,

My day began with a nightmare. Yu Han left my estate @ around 0115HRS. I slept. I was feeling quite troubled. The dream was realistically upsetting. In the dream I had a major quarrel with Han. I left her apartment angsty. I had yelled @ the top of my lungs before departing. It was crazy. It was a feeling of disjustification. I went off... I'm like Little Match Girl trying to make a living by being some sort of a surveyor or whatever you call it. The experience was bizarre. I don't know why was I doing that. I was an indirect employee of a radio station... For the survey. And the later part was full of crap. I guess dissatisfaction with life. I woke up. It was past 1300HRS. I'm a heavy-sleeper. Decide not to face this seemingly terrible day by closing my eyes. Message ringtone interrupted my little nap. Reached for it. It was my tuition boy. Quite pissed by him not attempting to do my homework. I really need to show him my true colours. I don't want to give up on him. Sigh~ Procrastinator. Having interrupted, I wrote down the content of my dream in my diary.

I know how sad my dream sounded. Perhaps in reality I am. I DON'T WANT TO BE... And I can run away from it I know. There's no need for words of encouragement. I just need to be making good decisions and be happy I made them. My future is truly a blur. I can't face up to it. Barriers and all. I know I can get over it. All I need is to vent my frustration and get over with this point of my fucking life. Oh whatever. As he commented, "Take it easy." No need for worries. Life is like a game now. I gotta get hold of my bearings and face the shit that happens.

*pam*

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