THANKSGIVING
If there's something for me to be grateful about 2020 thus far, it has to be my pregnancy and my company's decision to allow me to work from home (wfh) throughout this almost entire season.
When I discovered that I was pregnant in late January, my initial reaction was rather mixed. I was feeling really glad but I was also very anxious. Naturally, I am someone who worries. Having read about miscarriages (where sometimes moms-to-be do not even know the cause of it) and the fact that my mother had 2 miscarriages before successfully birthing to me, my fears felt real.
Hence, when the COVID-19 situation begins to worsen in February, it was to my relief that my company decided to allow me to wfh. Not only that, I get to wfh till I go for my maternity leave. At the earlier stage of my first trimester, I was unwell every now and then. Furthermore, I was frequently concerned about falling down. This is partially due to my natural tendency to walk fast and I have to constantly make a mental note to walk at a slower pace. Also, I had to use the restroom quite often to empty my bladder and occasionally vomit (though most of the time it was just the feeling of nauseousness). On top of all these, the requirements of my workload can be quite demanding. People who have worked with me had mentioned that I have high expectations, hence, I could be putting undue stress on myself. Being able to wfh has really helped me a lot with my mental well-being.
In addition, having gone through most of this pregnancy and knowing mostly what to expect, I think I am better prepared for my next pregnancy (prayerfully God will bless us with at least 1 more child) if I were to be at work full-time.
DISCOVERY
I have also used the period to go for a few coaching sessions and these sessions have made me discovered some of my blindspots. One of them being, feeling a sense of uselessness when I am not productive. Nowadays I learned to let go and not be too harsh on myself. I would do deep breathing / meditation / relaxation exercises whenever I feel anxious.
HE HOLDS THE FUTURE
Some of the things that I used to hold on to somehow did not matter so much during the period that I wfh. Things like how is my career going to be, am I lagging behind in terms of industry knowledge etc. I think this season is really about having faith in God. I believe He will guide me to where he wants me to bloom. Regarding childbirth, I believe He will not bring me to a place where I cannot bear the pain.
MENTAL WELL-BEING
Self-care is very important. One of the things that I learned from my holiday in Finland is that there's nothing to prove to anybody. Perhaps it was the fact that the Finnish society appeared to be more equitable than the one I live in. I think really all it matters is that what I am doing glorifies the Lord's name.
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