Today is Resurrection Sunday, and that it why I am free. It really has been a while since I wrote anything. I used to write a lot more, usually in the form of a physical diary. I would love to write more. It provides perspective about where I am in life when I do reflections. Though I have reflections almost every single day. I think I would enjoy creating an audio/video diary as well since I am quite an audio person. Back to this blogspot account, I started writing simple thoughts since 25 June 2006. This June it will be 13 years old. That is about the time I started my first job after my Polytechnic studies. Time really flies. As I revisit my first post, I remember where I was. It was post-first love breakup. Back then, it was the darkest time of my life and I took really long to recover from it entirely. Let's fast forward to now. A lot have changed and I am in a better place but with different challenges in life. I have learned that God is indeed faithful and will not forsake me wherever I am in life.
How life has been?
Life has been great! I felt that I have been happy for a very long time. I've moved to my new flat last year and I enjoy my new home. For people who know me, I have been residing in my mother-in-law's place since I got married. Hence, I have been with Nat's family for about 4.5 years (discounting the short period of time we experimented renting a place to stay). The days at mummy-in-law's was hard, hard is underrated, it is probably one of the hardest period of my life? I am not sure how I made it through, but Nat and I made it! (For those of you who do not know what I have been through, it has got nothing to do with mummy-in-law. She is the best thing in her flat.) Maybe my mind chooses to forget the tough times, which may not be a good thing because by recalling bad times would likely make me appreciate the current situation even more.
I have graduated. After a really long time. I am elated. This may not have happened without Nat being my constant cheerleader and telling me that I could do it. Thank God for preserving me, helping me to pull through despite my IBS.
I have an awesome job that I really want to glorify God's name.
Let me bring out the subject that is close to my heart, and hence the title of this post.
Nat and I have been together for close to 8 years and we have been married for 5 years. I think we have been happy with each other for so long that sometimes it seems unreal to me. Maybe it's the skeptical side of me, but I think when we do really have a problem, it might be quite a big one. I am an anticipatory person who prepares for the rainy days. I think our marriage problems aren't big but since I am a solver with little patience, I want problems to be eliminated as quick as possible. Over the past few years, I have worked very hard and work has been really important to me. Whenever I reflect on how far I've come, it's perplexing to understand what God has done for me, an undeserving individual. It is by His grace, I am where I am. I really do not know how I arrived at my current situation but I can only say, without God, nothing is possible. The area that I am lacking in to contribute in a partnership is to help with household chores. I do household chores once in a while but not on a regular basis. The idea of doing chores tires me out when I get back from work. But that is not to say that I do not do any. I enjoy washing the bathrooms on a fortnightly or once per month basis. After church today, I came home to have my personal training. Subsequently, I sat down for a considerable amount of time thinking how I can have further self-development. There are so many things that I want to experience but do not have the time to really develop. After contemplating for a really long time, I decided to wash the bathroom. As I clean up, I thought about how prisoners would have to wash the bathroom as part of their regime. It disciplines them. There may be a former millionaire, other white collar workers etc, who never had to do any chores before being incarcerated. I dwelled in that thought for long, thinking about many what-ifs; like Nat left many chores undone. It really was a wake-up call as I clean up. It was refreshing as well, I had a lot of sweat and it was the most pleasant feeling ever. I recalled a conversation I had with a friend and he told me that I should do more chores and be bored. He said it would help me. I didn't know what he meant until today. It is cliche to say but today's the best day. Been asking God how to work on a better marriage and the answer is to be a more collaborative wife. I feel even happier now thinking that I have made Nat happier while he was out.
Love,
Pam
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