Skip to main content

After sometime, this is my first entry for 2015.

Hi there,

I have been away from this blog for sometime but this space is too important for me to completely leave it to die.  I am not even sure how many people are still reading what I write, to begin with, I don't think I really have an audience.  For me, to record one's thoughts and emotions whether online, on the cellphone device, in the physical diary or some scribbling on some random paper is essential or some great ideas would fleet away.  

They say, "Change is the only constant" and time has proved to me that this is correct.  I have changed in some ways if you know me personally.  Let's begin from the more superficial aspect. 

1. I have "slimmed down" and maintained my weight not far from my own ideal.

I wish I could say I worked out a lot more than I used to but this is not the reality.  For friends who have known me for sometime and for people who have not seen me for a while, I have become smaller in size.  This is the result of the combination of IBS, mindful eating, constant weight monitoring and having plentiful opportunities to walk due to my current job.  I am however trying to find time to do more exercise.

Now, to the not so superficial stuff...

2. I have become more aware of the important things of my life.

After getting married, for some reason, I felt like I have grown a little bit more.  I become more appreciative of my parents, though my attitude still have to be in check most of the time.  I begin to pay closer attention to my existence.  Why am I here for?  I have known the reason for sometime but have I been leading a purpose-driven life?  I learnt that I should be more God-centered and others-centered and this is my goal for this year.  I became really thankful for the blessings that God has bestow unto me.  My dog, Happy still being alive is indeed a joyous miracle.  I have also realized that being married is very different from being single (including the stage where I was attached).  I can't just make any decisions without considering how it would impact Nat.  I find that if I want to maintain good relationships with my friends, I need to work on it.  The need to prioritize the things in life.  I also think that before I turn 30, it is time for me to let go of certain memories in the past.  Not because they are not valuable but because they limit my growth.  I have also learnt that at every stage of my life, whether good or bad, there is always something I can learn from it.  I just want to give thanks to God that I am still alive and being able to comprehend that a lot of things are impossible without Him.

3. I want to contribute to society.

I am contented with my job as a Befriender Executive now at Lions Befrienders Service Association.  I am privileged to serve the lonely seniors and also I am honoured to be given the opportunity to empower and support my volunteers.  I do not know what will happen tomorrow but I know God will lead me with His loving hands.

4. I am more open.

I have joined Bedok Toastmasters as a member and I have been growing.  I love public speaking and I have learnt a lot from others on  how to lead.  I desire to be more and more like Jesus and would like to be a good servant-leader.

5. I may not be that sentimental but I do care.

Circumstances and time and has shaped me to be who I am today.  I believe that I will still change - I am still imperfect (only God is perfect).  Do I love myself?  To a certain extent, yes.  If I were to get to know myself from another person's perspective, would I say that I like myself?  I don't know.  I hope that I am better than the me yesterday but as for my nature, my mood and attitude fluctuates and there's no way for it to be a constant.  However, there are some things that can be cultivated by being a active practitioner.  For example, I can become more disciplined.  I am now early for work for sometime.  Unlike my old self, perhaps 2 years ago, I was frequently late for work.  I have been trying to build my character and wanting to be a better person.  Certain memories of the past still flashed across my mind once in a while.  I have chosen to forget some and retain some.  Friends whom I care are still my friends but I guess once you grow older, everybody moves at a slightly different pace.

6. I have learnt a lot from what I studied.

Currently I am studying the modernists.  I enjoy this module a lot because it opens my mind.  It kind of tells me that writing can be non-restrictive and you can freely express yourself.  I am glad I have chosen to study English because though it may not contribute directly to my job now, it helps me learn more about the world around me.

I hope to write in this space more often and I thank you for reading it.

Love,
Pam

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Acquaintances with Benefits

When I was young (in upper primary), my birthday wishes were similar.  It was to have many friends.  That could be due to the fact that I am an only child and may feel lonely at times.  Thanks to my best friends (you know who you are), I seldom feel lonely.  I can easily identify who my best friends are.  They are people I would ask for opinions on important decisions I have to make, meet relatively regularly (at least bimonthly, quarterly) for chit-chat and my life would have been very different without them. According to Robin Dunbar , in order to maintain stable social relationships where an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.  Friends are essentially different from acquaintances.  Acquaintances are typically: #1. People whom you may have only met a few times at an event/function; #2. Classmates/schoolmates/coursemates you have encountered casually; #...

Grandfather Lee: YOUR vision, not mine!

Mr Lee (Kuan Yew) is a well-respected figure in my family.  I shall take a picture of the biographies my parents have religiously bought some other day (maybe I should contribute by purchasing Hard Truths just to complete the collection).  Anyone who studied Singapore history would respect him in some way or another.  However, lately grandfather Lee seemed to be revealing his true self and not bothering much about how the current generation thinks about our society. Here is an article from New Nation, an online magazine I read. Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision. Pam Petite
I believe that a person's life experiences will largely influence how they behave & react in any given situation. I believe that I have become more optimistic nowadays. Thanks to: 1) God, 2) boyfriend & close / good friends, 3) inspirational & motivational books, These 3 things really played a huge role lately; especially this year. Personally, I am into the idea that one should eliminate anything that brings you down. I know that "eliminate" seems like a BIG word, what I'm trying to put across is, don't let anything come between you and your dreams. To being wealthy is genuinely 1 of my desire. It is the thought of being affluent & rich someday soon that keeps me going forward. In my opinion, becoming rich doesn't have to cost you anything. Meaning, you don't have to sacrifice your very precious time with your family members; neglecting what's emotionally of higher importance. I'm a believer that there's a way to strike a balan...