It's yet another Monday. I am feeling exhausted and jaded. My weekend has been eventful which it has indeed left me in a un-entertained, unmotivated state now as I sit in front of my office laptop. It's almost lunch time and I can have some time-out to blog here.
Browsing through the content of my blog, it is mostly disconnected and boring. A netizen who happens to drop by my blog would not gain more knowledge or get to understand any aspects of me better. To a certain extend, my blog is pretty redundant as it does not serve any particular purpose; it is simply snippets from my life -- what I did, where I have been, how I felt and some of my opinions etc. Honestly, if I do not know myself in person, I would not frequent my blog. I yearn to revamp this site so that it will be more worthy of its existence but yet deep down I do not feel that I am obliged to do so. Afterall, the blog is mine, I can type and share whatever I like!
Let's talk about Love...
Being in a relatively new relationship has put forth certain priorities to be focused on for the near future. Mainly money to establish a family and other things that come with the package. Though I must mention that the feminine side of me combined with my natural maternal instincts of wanting to be married and having children have always been a part of who I am, I am for once more able to take things one at a time. After going through a series of failed relationships, I am drained out. At the beginning of each relationship, I am usually ecstatic; full of hope for the future. We would talk about the possibility of marriage, what we would name our babies, what we would do with our lives etc and not too slowly; it's normally pretty short-lived, I would find myself being upset with my partner for not being able to reach my mountain-high expectations or there are certain things that I find it really difficult to compromise. Typically at this stage, I would feel like ending the relationship. It's sad, very sad indeed but it has occurred too many times. The experiences of the past has made me a semi-numb person. Why am I saying all these, you may ask. Not because I do not have faith in my current boyfriend but more like I am not confident with the way I handle love relationship. I am similar to a boat, rocking from side to side.
Before entering into a relationship with my boyfriend, I just want to remain carefree (at least for a longer period). I'm sure you have heard from others that if opportunity comes, you have to grab it or it'll pass you by. Not ignoring that there's a possibility of a heartbreak, I took yet another risk and involved another in a potential risk. I know how much is at stake because I know that my boyfriend loves me deeply (yeah, I opened up his heart and found my soul in there! kidding!) and I am willing to give my best for this relationship.
I hope this time, finally my relationship will be everlasting.
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