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This afternoon, dressed in my swimming costume, I went to dip myself in the swimming pool and stood reading my novel for a good 40 minutes, oblivious to my surroundings. After reading about 10 pages and being mildly baked under the sun; in the midst of tall office buildings, I decided to join my fellow colleagues for lunch. I can't explain why I felt so happy and energetic after that. :)

~

It is now many moons later. I want to change and improve my life. As I deem easily observed -I've been trying to engage myself in various activities, in the hope of attempting to get pass the cry-your-heart-out or in my scenario, keep-it-mum-and-look-like-it-didn't-matter-much stage. How I wish I can just drink up and let go? Seems like age is defining my actions... I didn't attempt to drink up, go clubbing, indulge in shopping sprees nor eat to my heart's content. I believe it's because I have been there and I felt totally wasted. There won't be a possibility of making me feel any better, worse still; highly likely I will regret on the money spent and the time wasted which could be easily exchange for a much constructive activity.

I believe that I will be able to make it through this rocky road with the help of the Almighty. I just have to cultivate some patience to endure and learn this seemingly tough lesson.

Quoting what I heard from the radio, I have to forgive myself and move on.

Last but not least, I would like to quote an author, Oriah.

"I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments."
(Last stanza of The Invitation by Oriah)

I ask myself this question, "Do I enjoy the "me" time?"

Pam Petite

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