Pam's Blog (Life, Marriage & Parenting)

Crack At the moment just right after I feel elated, my emotion-meter just plunged downhill like a fountain of water. I want my happiness to last, however, as Oscar Wilde wrote, “Nothing ages like happiness.” How true. I can feel the crack. Like how I envision the crack to be on a piece of rock. A deep line of erosion. I can’t justify the feeling I’m feeling. What I can describe is that my heart is trying to run away from how it truly feels. I hate to have my emotions oozed out. It makes me feel terribly vulnerable. ~ There’s a beautiful jellyfish floating around. The jellyfish just wants to float. You see the beauty of it and said, "You’re utmost beautiful!" because you meant it from the heart. The jellyfish took in the compliment and continues floating. Now you say goodbye with a smile but you really want to cry.

Singapore Garden Festival 2008 belated pictures. plants, they're theraputic. i enjoy being in natural environment. just like how i always fantasize about lying on the grass and watching sheep grazing on the pastures. my Happy half-sleeping beside me, my love holding me. and i'm wearing a beautiful white / yellow sundress. in total bliss; without worries. :)

woke up to a weird dream... haven't had many memorable dreams lately.. personally, to be sleep-dreaming and not feeling good about it might mean that my conscious self is not entirely healthy... been having a rather complex emotion hovering from within... i want it to be resolved. however, i don't really know of the solution. perhaps the upcoming activities can help to clear my encumbered vision.

the reason i'm still not asleep at this hour is because i'm thinking about my bf.. i just really wanna be the perfect gf for you if possible.. i hope you don't feel stressed about me typing it here.. i guess.. i'm just a little insecure somehow..

Sometimes what is happening around you is like an on-going movie. You aren’t even aware that you are one of the characters in it. Occasionally, you play the part of a calefare but frequently you are the protagonist because you are the leading character. As a calefare, you are not directly involved with the conflict and I love to be in that position most of the time. Just as I agree with the butterfly effect theory along with the law of attraction, I believe my role in the scenario may slightly influence the overall outcome. Given my ultra-contradictory nature, I should really give myself a nickname: Pamela the Strange. I believe it’s very difficult to change a person especially if he/she has deeply-rooted inborn characteristics which to a wide degree are undesirable. My question is, if I don’t resolute to change, a certain problem in my life will keep recurring. ~ The market seems rather volatile this year. Year 2008 has insofar been a rather unusual year. Have been trying to be mor...

looking through the past few entries, i find myself painfully boring . oh yeah, lacking in content and putting everything in just a nutshell. that's why being comfortable and contented is not always good. it nurtures the lazy worms in me. life is seemingly good. i know what "good" is supposed to be like. it's gives you the feeling that everything's gonna be alright like how bob marley sang it. perhaps now a huge portion of me is being so at ease that the negative stuff just rebound from my outer body and hence never enter my inner being. oh well, love is the most wonderful feeling! :)

i think God has been gracious to me by "returning" me to the guy i love.

thoughts. memories. photos. mementos. souvenirs. theme songs. sweet nothings. presents. e-cards. emails. ---> erased. goodbye. here it goes again. a cycle. so this is life?

feeling immensely nostalgic today... was flipping through my portable and flippable photo frame and i was thinking of the person who has the exact same possession. his image appeared and it instantly sent signals to my brain and enabled all the human emotions to fill me from within. i miss you. i really think i saw you. only heaven knows how much i thought about you. if you ever see me again, just know that i miss you truly in my heart.