Dear Blog,
Finally i get to meet this friend who is currently still serving his National Service. It felt good to be meeting up with him. I love direct face-to-face contact with people more than other avenues of communication. It makes reality come alive; for me to mentally acknowledge everything is real. The conversation, our physical existence etc.
To me, for people to connect mentally and emotionally with one another is not easy. You can hang out with anybody and feel as though you were alone the whole time, surrounded by people you know.
I simply don't understand myself. Lately I seem more cheerful, however, I can't avoid feeling discontented. There's always this "thing" which I desire to have. But when I achieve it, I'll be like it is not as awesome as I thought. Sigh~ Something's wrong with me?
Love & Hate. Do they come hand-in-hand? Is it true that if you love someone much, there will be a possibility that you'll hate that particular person if he / she fails to meet your expectation?
Love. A good friend told me I do not understand the profound meaning of the word. She said that if you really love someone, it's unconditional, you would not mind so much about neaty grity stuff. Yeah, she's right. Maybe I do not know how to love.
I must admit I like emotions to come like an explosion of passion. Perhaps I have split personality. Sometimes this, sometimes that. Like a boat, I rock side to side.
The month of October has been like a holiday for me. I haven't been doing alot. Basically, being trapped in my own well. Having a really small circle of people revolving around me. Haven't seen much of the world. Felt as though I aged and have lesser of the ones I care around me.
Why must I revert to being the melancholy me again?
Why can't he care more?
Why can't I be braver?
Why can't he talk to me forever?
Why are words so difficult to come out?
Why?
Happiness I learned, needs to be pursued.
Finally i get to meet this friend who is currently still serving his National Service. It felt good to be meeting up with him. I love direct face-to-face contact with people more than other avenues of communication. It makes reality come alive; for me to mentally acknowledge everything is real. The conversation, our physical existence etc.
To me, for people to connect mentally and emotionally with one another is not easy. You can hang out with anybody and feel as though you were alone the whole time, surrounded by people you know.
I simply don't understand myself. Lately I seem more cheerful, however, I can't avoid feeling discontented. There's always this "thing" which I desire to have. But when I achieve it, I'll be like it is not as awesome as I thought. Sigh~ Something's wrong with me?
Love & Hate. Do they come hand-in-hand? Is it true that if you love someone much, there will be a possibility that you'll hate that particular person if he / she fails to meet your expectation?
Love. A good friend told me I do not understand the profound meaning of the word. She said that if you really love someone, it's unconditional, you would not mind so much about neaty grity stuff. Yeah, she's right. Maybe I do not know how to love.
I must admit I like emotions to come like an explosion of passion. Perhaps I have split personality. Sometimes this, sometimes that. Like a boat, I rock side to side.
The month of October has been like a holiday for me. I haven't been doing alot. Basically, being trapped in my own well. Having a really small circle of people revolving around me. Haven't seen much of the world. Felt as though I aged and have lesser of the ones I care around me.
Why must I revert to being the melancholy me again?
Why can't he care more?
Why can't I be braver?
Why can't he talk to me forever?
Why are words so difficult to come out?
Why?
Happiness I learned, needs to be pursued.
*pam*
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