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just an entry

"May she be an ebony of beauty around your aging neck and a crown of purity and joy on your graying head." excerpt from Taste and See - John Piper from a man named Johnny

another day of me going through the same routine @ home. woke up from a very bizarre dream this morning. open my dream journal and immediately jotted whatever i can recall in a very curvsive and sort of untidy handwriting. i've been dreaming almost every night lately. i think i'm just really troubled by the finding the right job thing. i'm worried. it was around 0530hrs. my alarm rang. it was the time dear prepared for work. so tiring for him mentally and physically. i can almost instantly understand how unwilling he was to go work at that time. it just seems that the more i get to know him, the more loving i find him to be. sometimes i'll just play in my head how so and so would react in the different scenarios with my behaviour. and then i just think if i didn't react that way, could it have turn out better. nevermind about that. i just think that my dear is a very mellow person. just having read the devotion for today made me felt like my dear's the johnny, the author. however, the wife in the anecdote is not me. i'll sometimes badger for what i want. well and sometimes i worry about his age. i mean not that he is very mature but that of me wanting to spend a long long way with him. "The times are in God's hands, not ours." i just love my dear... i'm irritating but i want to be with him all the time...

some might say get a life. guess somehow i just yearn to settle down get done with 1 big stage in my life. or maybe i'm insane. or perhaps. naive. or otherwise just a little young.. or it's just me.

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