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*vexed*

christmas is making me really nervy...
i haven't had it properly planned for more than three-quarter of the day...
i know as of 2230hrs of 25122006 would be the 1st christmas i ever spend with a someone special...
however, what are some meaningful things i could do with friend(s) for the day...
i've been meditating for many days...
friends asked and made me all the more anxious...
unable to provide a proper plan...
this made me just wanna stay at home till 2130hrs...

christmas without CHRIST is truly meaningless...
am i gonna spend christmas without CHRIST this year?
CHRIST is the reason for CHRISTmas...

i haven't had any idea why this year is similar to the previous...
emotions still unsettled...

i kept recounting the past...
whyyy?
can i make things right?
God please take control and make things seem right for You, whatever i'm experiencing...
i don't wanna drift too far apart...
i'm LOST...
i want to be back on the oasis...

i'm growing old...
i don't want to be wasting time away...
like a boat sailing directionlessly...
aimless...
S.O.S!!!

what matters most?
i know it in my heart.

what doesn't matter but i want.
*POMM.
friends have been asking me to forget about the person.
i hope someday, somehow i can.

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