*nice day out*

and so it is...
just like you said it would be...
life goes easy on me...
most of the time...

~

and so it is...
there goes my life...
without you...

~

i often find myself in another world dreaming of what could have been...
it's all empty wishes...
i want to see you again...
i know i will...
and i miss you...

~

listening to Keane - Somewhere only we know...
reminded me of the 1st time you sent me home...
i like the memory...
i think it was silly...
i like being your fool...
sigh...
i know we could have as much fun and laughter even as good friends...
but nothing can bring me back to the past...

~

what makes one happy...
was discussing this with my dearie and mr. d...
the 3 of us sat in front of the river...
what a beautiful scene...
named a couple of things...
realized not many things make me happy...
one of the 1st few things i said was no restrictions from the things i really want to do from the people i love...
something i know about myself is i'm stubborn...
a lot of times i listen to what people i care have to say...
but as what mr.d commented...
i block whatever i don't wish to hear...
he's right...
sometimes i think i'm too subjective...
sometimes i don't like myself...
i think i'm strange...

~

my life is not just about me...
by doing the things i want to do might upset the people around me...
so why do i want to do that...
if they don't care about me...
they won't bother to say anything at all...
i'm 'old' enough to discern between good and bad...
but the devil inside me is telling me to do all the bad things...
the angel attempted to knock me with her wand...
but i'm in such a bad state...

~

but i knew the moment with them was to be treasured...
1 year and probably many years from now...
i would walk past the river and drift off to the old times when we talked about our lives...
the night/morning did make me feel contented...
to have them by my side...
was what i wanted...


~

seeing the people i care and love happy, makes me happy too...
seeing the one i love makes me happy too...
guess the moment i see him makes me smile so wide that i made way for some wrinkles at my old age...

~

i think i'm selfish...
not wanting to blame it on my single child status...
but it does play a huge role...
why am i like that...