*numbed*

eventually i decided i still need a place to displace my complicated thoughts...
if you ask me how i feel...
it could be numb...
the word "numb" definitely doesn't have a positive connotation...

~

about a month ago, i can't let go of something i held on to...
subsequently i made a decision to help me ease the sad situation i was in...
a month now, i realized the choice i made didn't help much...

~

so what's left of me...
i'm torn...
i was spoilt with choices i guess...
but right now...
i ponder and wonder if i'm still the LOSER...
don't get me wrong...
i don't mind playing the l-o-s-e-r...
because i already knew i would be...

~

i seriously think i have given what i possibly could...
any more would be very unlikely of me...
i believe i'm a good friend...
but when it comes to kinship and brg...
i'm just a very bad one...

~

i didn't want to let it go...
you just remained stationary...
how long do you reckon i endure...
i felt really terrible playing the bad guy...

~

i wish i could control my inner thoughts...
everybody's telling me to...
but i just can't...

~

God...
i know i must have been very disobedient...
i really wish and hope and pray...
can you turn the tables for me...
i'm tired of games...
i know i love games but i usually get played out...
so...
can things happen right for once...
and once and for all please...