Pam's Blog (Life, Marriage & Parenting)

  This morning I woke up feeling slightly irritated. I have a mild sore throat (as a result of eating a piece of green chili with fish cake from the Yong Tau Fu stall yesterday) and had to change my plans for today. I am upset when I do not get to do my scheduled activities with Mendell. I shared with Nat my plan for the day which is mostly staying at home and I was frustrated that he could not understand the whole of my plan. I started to feel my body heating up (it is always a sign that I need to calm down) then I recalled a video where I learned that I can always "reset my day" and that I should not blame others for how I feel. So I manage to anchor that thought and gradually, I feel my body more at ease. Today's devotion from Our Daily Bread is indeed a message from God. Over the past few years, I have reconciled with friends and had mindset shifts and clarity on the problems in our friendships. When we chose to gather again, I realised that not only I have matured, s...

31st December 2022: If I have to describe my year using a colour, it will be grey. More specifically, it is Pantone - Cool Grey 11 C. To make this colour, you need more black than white. It's like my year if I examine it carefully. I was remarking to my helper yesterday how it has been a not so good year for me, and if God had not impressed upon me along the way, I might've been reproachful. Over my adult years, I have chosen to look pass negative events and focus mostly on positive ones. However, I have learnt that in order to grow, I need to be more attuned to my emotions. Throughout the year, I have been sick multiple times. I had the Covid and then long Covid, several bouts of flu and episodes of food poisoning. There were many occasions that I had to postpone/cancel plans. My dad became seriously ill and died. It was a good death nevertheless and I am thankful for his life and where he went. There were some opportunities lost and it made me rethink about how I should spend...

Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman is one of the life manuals I need other than the bible. It is a book that addresses my anxiety and what I would call my hedonistic nature. As an Enneagram Type 7, I have a constant need to feel that I am using my time well.  When I was working, there was an incessant need to keep on going and I did not mind doing the most work and going the extra mile. Before switching to being a stay-at-home mum, I started to feel like I couldn’t take the same amount of workload while suffering from mum-guilt. Eventually, I made the decision to bid farewell to what we would now consider “work” and focus on family life. You may think that I stop having the anxiety that I used to encounter on a daily basis but no, I still do. I want to be doing things with my toddler son all the time – providing outdoor experiences, sensory play at home and following certain bedtime routines. At the same time, I want to remain fit, know what is happening around the world, conti...

爸爸，我记得您跟我分享了很多关于您人生的故事。 两个故事让我印象深刻：  (1) 无论贫富，我们终将离开这个世界。 保持谦虚，努力工作。  (2) 拥有强大的社交网络很重要。 尽可能提供帮助，并乐于接受帮助。 当我思考今天的颂词，我的脑海里浮现了很多美好的回忆…… 例如：  - 您煮的汤  - 您对鱼和烤肉菜肴的喜爱  - 我们和Happy一起去公园散步  - 小时候，我们全家去云顶高原游玩  - 我们在 2019 年 3 月到香港家庭旅行  - 每当您看到您的孙子恺恩的时候，您是多么的喜乐，满脸笑容  - 您对我的信任  - 与妈咪结婚 53 年的美好时光 我们非常想念您，但我们知道我们将在天堂团聚。 我们为您的生命感谢上帝，您将永远活在我们心中。 爸爸，您走了，我，妈咪，Nat和恺恩会继续走完世上的路。我们在天上见！

*I will first give the eulogy in English then in Mandarin. 我会先用英语，然后再用华语。* Thank you everyone for making time to attend this evening's service. We are immensely grateful for the love and words of comfort poured out during this time of bereavement. Special thanks to Aunty Shui Qing, Uncle Jia Bao, Pastor Chen, Pastor Mao and brothers & sisters-in-Christ from St Andrew's Community Chapel & Bedok Lutheran Church who has been journeying and praying with us. If you ask me who my dad is, he is a compassionate, resilient, kind and gentle person who loves animals. My dad was 1 of the first people who shared with me who Jesus is. He said, there was this very good man, who did not sin but died for everyone's sin. That was before my family and I became believers.  As a child, my dad used to travel quite frequently for work. I remember that during 1 of his trips, he bought a toddler size doll for me. We used to have a fish tank with various fish and I remember how I was so intr...

We had a blast with Mendell today! In fact it is every single day! As the day come to an end, I wonder how do I hold on the moments that have passed and not let it slip away... I wish I could go back to all the wonderful moments and relive them every now and then but what's gone will be gone. So I really treasure all the time I have with Mendell and Nat. Somehow as I was just reminiscing and going through the details of the day, I thought of how God would lovingly think of us, His children. I imagined that He would smile when we think of Him, laugh when we encounter something amusing and weep when we are deeply saddened. I thank God for all the emotions I am experiencing and pray that I will get to know Him better as I continue to journey on on this planet. Love, Pam

Today I went to volunteer at the women's shelter. When I was reaching, it rained rather heavily. As I do not have the habit of putting an umbrella in my bag, I thought I could purchase an umbrella at the minimart when I alighted.  Upon reaching the minimart, I searched for the umbrella. After finding the umbrella, I looked around at the cashier's counter for payment method. My heart sank when I saw, "Cash Only". Thinking that I do not have enough cash, I enquired about the price of the umbrella. When the cashier told me it was $6, I was surprised and thankful. I didn't know that a big umbrella would cost this cheap! I searched for $6 and was doubtful as I only had coins. Amazingly, I had coins that made up $6. I'm so grateful to God for watching over me. (I would be late if I had not enough cash!) I was a little anxious volunteering today because I am the only volunteer helping to care for the babies. When I knew that I was going to be the only one there the n...