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Last Day of 2022

31st December 2022: If I have to describe my year using a colour, it will be grey. More specifically, it is Pantone - Cool Grey 11 C. To make this colour, you need more black than white. It's like my year if I examine it carefully.

I was remarking to my helper yesterday how it has been a not so good year for me, and if God had not impressed upon me along the way, I might've been reproachful. Over my adult years, I have chosen to look pass negative events and focus mostly on positive ones. However, I have learnt that in order to grow, I need to be more attuned to my emotions.

Throughout the year, I have been sick multiple times. I had the Covid and then long Covid, several bouts of flu and episodes of food poisoning. There were many occasions that I had to postpone/cancel plans.

My dad became seriously ill and died. It was a good death nevertheless and I am thankful for his life and where he went.

There were some opportunities lost and it made me rethink about how I should spend my time.

I could identify many parts of me that needed growth. The part of me that someone called it "stoic" and another had described it as "steeling". The part where I found my ability to forgive and the part where I considered and grieved my loss.

I have intentionally chosen photos without me except the last two. They all tell a story, and the bottom line is God is still good, through it all.

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~spin~

work has been irritatingly routine. day in and out. life is fading it's colour. can't break the chains. have nowhere to run to. stare at the PC screen, move inches on the mouse and hit the keyboard by hundreds each day, fighting hard to keep my eyes half open past lunch hour. life is ticking by fast. save me from this. it's nearing 2 months now. haven't encountered much challenging tasks. it's about a year now. not earning and saving much. it's getting harder to breathe. tell me what to do.