29th June 2021: "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi is the best book I have read hands down. I dare say that it's better than my old favourite by Oscar Wilde (though they're of different genre). It's the most irresistible page-turner simply because it is so authentic and I felt like I'm acquainted with Paul through the words he has written.
I decided to read this book after recounting my experience with ruptured appendicitis and navigating within the public hospital systems. Furthermore, I recalled several people recommending this book and for some reason, this book has been sitting on the top 10 charts for a long time in various bookstores.
Let me cut to the chase and share my thoughts about the book:
(1) Compassionate - Paul struck me as someone who was profoundly intellectual. It was only when I first read about his thoughts and what he did during his visit to a home for people who had suffered severe brain injuries (as part of the curriculum during his studies in medical school) that it occurred to me that he was a kind and compassionate person. As a younger person, we may be idealistic. With more life experiences, some may say people became more pragmatic (in the bad way). Based on the context of the book, I realised that it takes courage to be pragmatic too.
(2) Deep sense of loss - Dark clouds loomed everytime I read. After all, Paul was extremely outstanding as a neurosurgeon and neuroscientist. I couldn't help but compared him to an acquaintance (who had led not just a colourful but Christlike life) who had gone too soon. Also it's like wondering when your very ill pet would pass away. It's depressing yet cathartic to know that Paul would have a good death as I read on.
(3) Death is a personal experience, just like falling in love and giving birth. I reflected upon how I felt when I first learned that I needed to go for a surgery for ruptured appendicitis. My emotions were up and down, even though it was relatively low risk and the healthcare practitioners were reassuring.
(4) "No system of thought can contain the fullness human experience" that is to say, science cannot explain hope, fear, love, hate, beauty, envy, suffering, virtue etc. Though Paul has spent a large part of his life "doing" science, it was his hope in the Lord that eventually granted him peace to deal with his own death (this is how I interpreted his narrative as a reader).
(5) Many healthcare workers are overworked. They've sacrificed what cannot be returned and that is Time. For high-stakes professionals, such as surgeons and neurosurgeons, they may even have to live their lives in guilt sometimes for the decisions or mistakes they made.
A fantastic read. I'll make it a point to read this (or part of it) every year.
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