Skip to main content

*numbed*

eventually i decided i still need a place to displace my complicated thoughts...
if you ask me how i feel...
it could be numb...
the word "numb" definitely doesn't have a positive connotation...

~

about a month ago, i can't let go of something i held on to...
subsequently i made a decision to help me ease the sad situation i was in...
a month now, i realized the choice i made didn't help much...

~

so what's left of me...
i'm torn...
i was spoilt with choices i guess...
but right now...
i ponder and wonder if i'm still the LOSER...
don't get me wrong...
i don't mind playing the l-o-s-e-r...
because i already knew i would be...

~

i seriously think i have given what i possibly could...
any more would be very unlikely of me...
i believe i'm a good friend...
but when it comes to kinship and brg...
i'm just a very bad one...

~

i didn't want to let it go...
you just remained stationary...
how long do you reckon i endure...
i felt really terrible playing the bad guy...

~

i wish i could control my inner thoughts...
everybody's telling me to...
but i just can't...

~

God...
i know i must have been very disobedient...
i really wish and hope and pray...
can you turn the tables for me...
i'm tired of games...
i know i love games but i usually get played out...
so...
can things happen right for once...
and once and for all please...






Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Personal Perspective on CHC Fiasco

My personal perspective on the City Harvest Church fiasco: #1. God is omnipresent (present everywhere), omnipotent (all powerful), omniscient (all knowing) and God knew about this episode. I believe God is watching.; #2. The CAD does not charge without concrete evidence (they have taken sufficient time to investigate - 2 years). May justice prevail.; #3. It is unavoidable for members of the public with little information about Christianity to judge.  It is also one of my weaknesses to be quick to judge/form negative impression about others, which is unhealthy.; #4. I believe to a certain extent, the message of giving and tithing is relatively strong in City Harvest Church - I may be wrong.  (fyi, I have visited the church a couple of times) My personal belief is that it is important to give to God because God is the creator of everything that exists. He owns everything and we are simply stewards of what we have been entrusted with.  Though I h...
6 comments
Read more

~spin~

work has been irritatingly routine. day in and out. life is fading it's colour. can't break the chains. have nowhere to run to. stare at the PC screen, move inches on the mouse and hit the keyboard by hundreds each day, fighting hard to keep my eyes half open past lunch hour. life is ticking by fast. save me from this. it's nearing 2 months now. haven't encountered much challenging tasks. it's about a year now. not earning and saving much. it's getting harder to breathe. tell me what to do.
Post a Comment
Read more

Chinese New Year

Blessed & Happy Lunar New Year to all! This holiday has been enjoyable and a little too long for me as I was on medical leave last Thursday and company was off on Friday so I had a grand total of six non-working days.  :x This year is the last year that I will be celebrating the Chinese New Year as a single.  For the past 2 days, I have been visiting relatives with Nat.  For some reason, this New Year felt different from the recent years.   Upon arriving at adulthood, I always question why do I have to celebrate the occasion.  (Just for your information, my nuclear family do not do much house visiting but we do have our usual reunion dinner.)  Therefore, to me, the CNY holiday is a time for me to enjoy with friends or alone.  Before I embarked on my house visiting this year, there was some inertia for me to urge myself to go around meeting people I do not know (or hardly know).  As an introvert, sometimes I'm not sure how to begin...
Post a Comment
Read more